Hey Everyone! I'm peeking my head out of my hole finally. This first week with Miss W has been equal parts wonderful and equal parts rough. I'm counting this post as a breath of fresh air for me since I've finally gotten a little sleep today. Sleep deprivation is no joke, ya'll. No. Joke. Now, onto the birth story!
EH and I were scheduled for our c-section at 7:30 in the morning on 7/3/14 so we had to wake up basically at the crack of dawn to get to the hospital by 6 AM. On the way to the hospital we were full of excitement for what was to come and totally clueless about what was to come. We knew that it would be a c-section and I had watched enough Baby Story episodes to know what that entailed but the process beforehand included a lot of what I like to call "getting ready to cut" work. We checked into our pre and post recovery room and EH took some pics of me to get the jitters out.
Things moved pretty quickly after that. Nurses came in to introduce themselves. My IV was started with difficulty, of course, because I have some rolling veins in my arm. I got stuck a couple of times with no success and then finally another nurse was able to come in and get it right.
I said goodbye to EH about an hour after that and they wheeled me into the operating room. The walls and the ceiling were decorated with some kind of faux fairytale mural which I found incredibly tacky...LOL. It didn't put me at ease at all. What struck me the most about the room was how small it was and also how small the operating table was. It was basically as wide and as long as a stretcher.
After I got on the table, it was time for the dreaded epidural. I'm happy to say that the idea of it was a lot scarier than the reality. I actually was more terrified after all the needle work was done. After the shot, I lay back and felt tense in my neck and shoulders. It made me so uncomfortable that I started to panic a little. The anesthesiologist kept telling me to calm down and I seriously wanted to punch her in the face. This chick's manner was not soothing at all! Eventually, I took matters into my own hands and started visualizing a nice tropical vacation on the beach. This helped to relax me until EH was allowed in.
I was so relieved when he was finally sitting next to me. The c-section was already in full swing by that time so it seemed that he wasn't there more than five minutes before the doctor told him to look over the shield at our daughter. He stared open-mouthed as she was brought out and placed in the bassinet. I wasn't able to see her fully because I didn't have my glasses on. Everything was a blur until I got them but when I finally saw her, it was an amazing feeling of pride and joy and happiness filtered through the fog of anesthesia. After she got checked out, the baby nurse/doctor brought her over to me and pushed her up right against my face. She was making the cutest mewing sounds like a little kitten and I tried to soothe her as best I could.
|6 lbs 4oz, 18 inches!!|
Not long after that they whisked her away to the recovery room while the doctors finished me up. I wish I could say that I remembered things shortly after that but everything after me being brought back to the recovery room is sort of a blur. I don't remember paying much attention to Miss W, I was way more concerned about monitoring the feeling coming back into my lower half.
The rest of our stay in the hospital wasn't that bad but it wasn't that great either..lol. We definitely did not get much sleep which made my interactions with EH a lot less civil and patient. EH had to handle almost everything because I wasn't able to walk yet and I hated depending on him for everything because he didn't do things the way I would have done it or as quickly. I tried to distract myself from all those feelings and focused on the fact that he was doing the best he could.
Isn't this the lament of every wife!?
Later that day, it was time for the parade of grandparents. It was nice to see how happy everyone was to welcome Miss W. Our parents took what seemed like a million pictures of her and very little of EH and me. I was looking a hot mess, by the way...straight up Celie in The Color Purple type of hot mess. I'll spare you.
Miss W got a great latch on the day we started breastfeeding but it didn't stay that way. Turns out Miss W is one of those babies that freak out on the breast. Even when she had the nipple in her mouth, and was latched correctly, she would scream bloody murder and shake her head frantically from side to side. And if she did manage to latch on without a fuss, she would fall asleep almost immediately.
Needless to say, I was never sure she was getting enough milk and it caused me a lot of anxiety. Eventually, over two days, she started to lose more weight than they thought she should and we had to supplement with formula. I felt like a complete failure when we started supplementing but I tried to think of all the advice I had gotten from new mothers in the weeks prior and tried to get over it. I told myself that she needed to eat and it didn't matter how she got the food.
After two days of asking, I finally got a breast pump to use in the hospital and was able to give her some breastmilk. It made me feel a lot better but I resented that fact that I had to use a pump at all and envisioned more pumping in my future. I prayed that she would get over her breast freak outs so I could feed her from the breast.
Overall, our experience was a good one at the hospital. Except for a particularly nasty nurse on our last day. This lady saw that EH and I were Black and immediately assumed that a) we were not married and b) we were paying with Medicaid instead of insurance. I literally had to talk EH down from cussing this lady out. When we corrected her and told her that we were indeed married and had insurance her response was "Oh good. Then we don't need a paternity test." Cue jaw dropping to the floor here! I wanted to roll on the floor with this chick but I didn't want her doing something to Miss W behind my back or stalling with our discharge paperwork so I made myself act right. You can be sure we will be skewering her in the hospital survey though.
We weren't sure we would be able to go home together because of the staff's concerns about her weight. After a visit from the neonatologist on duty, and a promise that we would see the pediatrician as soon as possible, we were finally given the all clear. We packed like our asses were on fire just in case they wanted to change their minds.
On the way home, I sat in the backseat of our car for the first time. The fact that we were driving our daughter home from the hospital still didn't really register with me. EH drove slowly all the way home and I stared at our little bundle wondering what exactly lay ahead...