I've been so physically and mentally exhausted I haven't been able to sit at the computer, much less write a post.
I've been observing W for the past few weeks and trying to figure out a sleep schedule for her. Now, I was wracking my brain and getting all worked up about it because sometimes she would follow it and sometimes she wouldn't. It was super frustrating for me and very overwhelming.
I wanted to get her on a schedule partly because EH and I haven't had a moment alone since she was born and I was trying to facilitate some couple time. But I finally realized that trying to force her into a schedule wasn't working and that I felt less stressed when I just followed her lead. EH and I are just gonna have to redefine intimacy for awhile. It's not the greatest solution but It's necessary.
When she's tired she sleeps...surprisingly, following her lead has led to the consistency in my day that I've been craving.
I can pretty much depend on her sleeping at 9 am, 12pm, and 3pm everyday and going to bed for the night by 7:30pm and waking by 7:30am. I'm grateful I didn't try to force something that wasn't working. This proves once again that I need to stay off the internet when it comes to baby care!!
Meanwhile, W has been going through several growth spurts that keep her glued to my boobs. To say that this has been tiring is an understatement.
My anxiety has also been rearing its ugly head, especially around crowds. We had some family members come over recently to visit and they were interrupting our daily schedule and W's nap time with their loudness. It took everything I had not to lose it on them. I was grateful for the visit but not the noise. I could feel my heart racing and my body getting tense. I know it stems from my need to control situations and the fact that I hardly ever leave the house anymore except to take W to the park.
I'm so anxious that something will happen to her or disturb her peace of mind or overstimulate her that I'm hiding out in the house and getting frustrated about being a self-imposed shut-in.
I spend most of my day in my spit-up covered night shirt, feeding W, trying to remember to feed myself and wash up every now and then.
In the quiet moments, I remind myself what a gift she is to us so that I can enjoy her.
So I'm on a quest to find some daily activities for W and I so that she can get some air and I can avoid losing my mind.
How do you find ME time and couple time with an infant??