Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Research for a Better Life

So, I spent most of the morning doing research about what the Bronx has to offer. To my dismay, It wasn't much. Ha! El Hubster and I have lived in the Bronx going on six years now. We've done all the touristy stuff; been to Arthur Ave, been to the Bronx Zoo, been to a few different places here but none of them feel like they have too much to offer. My one joy is a wonderful park nearby where I run from time to time. My little oasis in the concrete jungle.

El Hubster and I are kinda tired of traveling to Manhattan for fun, culture, FOOD. When we hit 30, we all of a sudden became serious homebodies. Our new motto: if we have to work too hard to get there, we're not going! We're lucky if we go out once a month these days. I definitely don't want to raise our children in a fish bowl so I set out to see if there were any stay at home wife/mom groups to be found. I gotta say I was pleasantly surprised to see a few that were interesting and diverse and that they EXISTED at all.

Diversity is a big deal for us. We're diverse as individuals in our own right and we love to surround ourselves with diverse people. Since we'll be raising multi-culti children, I was happy to see that a range of nationalities can be found right in my own borough. My only concern is that my personality has never been that of "a joiner" so I don't know how this will ultimately pan out. I find that the more I move toward motherhood, the more independent and rebellious I'm becoming. I'm convinced it's the last shred of my wandering, gypsy psyche hanging on by its fingernails. I'm feeling a push and pull that's hard to explain.
Being a stay-at-home wife provides so much time for reflection; a little too much if you ask me. I'm so used to doing a billion things at once that I simply don't know how to enjoy this precious time alone. Everyday I struggle not to stay in bed, to get outside, to write! I need more to look forward to, more to fill my precious time. I can only redecorate my apartment but so many times and when I get a new decor idea I'm discouraged because I know we'll only be here until August. I want to save my energy for the home we'll be in for a while.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013


I spent the entire morning in nesting mode! This is funny because I am NOT pregnant..yet. In March, it'll be 3 months since my myomectomy and I'm hoping to get the all clear so the hubster and I can start TTC again. I'll admit that I'm a little terrified of going through TTC for the third time. It's never easy. All of your hopes and expectations are magnified times ten...billion.

Spent an hour on Pinterest adding to my baby board and thinking about my scheduled c-section. I got it into my head that I should have a VBAC and then changed my mind after reading about uterine rupture. I'm already a high risk pregnancy because: a) I'm at least 15 pounds overweight, b) there's a history of pre-term birth in my family, c) I've had previous abdominal surgery and d) I've got PCOS. Do I want to sacrifice being able to have two natural born children because I think I deserve a VBAC? The answer is no. I may change my mind on this one. I realize it's easy for me to say what I want and don't want with no baby in my belly.

Been thinking about all the ways I can get ready for TTC again. I really need to start taking my prenatal vitamins consistently. I ordered these from Amazon and have been taking them since they arrived two days ago, along with the metformin for my PCOS and thyroxine for my hypothyroidism. I really hate that I'm taking all these medications. I'll have to find a way to get some natural alternatives the next time around...

They're alright so far. According to reviews they're supposed to be easy to take during that crucial morning sickness time. I already know that I'm gonna be one of those moms who wants to be "extra" in everything. I've been a type A personality for as long as I can remember and I don't expect that to change with motherhood.

Hubster and I currently live in a one bedroom apartment and plan to keep living in one up until our baby can walk. Two bedroom apartments in the Bronx can start at $1200 and we want to stay within our means for as long as possible. I'm not one of those mom-to-be's who wants or needs a large nursery. I'm quite content to have baby with the hubster and I in our bedroom . Been thinking about how I can accomplish this but luckily the one bedrooms I've seen are pretty spacious up here. We'll probably just tuck baby in a corner of the bedroom a la...

We already have furniture to serve as changing table/storage. All it needs is a comfy changing pad and it's set! Hubster comes from a family with three siblings and they all shared a one bedroom apartment for years in Washington Heights! I know we'll be blessed enough to make room.

I'm going back and forth on whether or not I want to find out the baby's sex. I really do think it's one of those surprises that can't be topped but I worry about not having the proper things in place for a girl or a boy color-wise. I'm really fixated on a coral colored accessories for a little girl and blue for a boy...sigh. How about I revisit this when I'm ACTUALLY pregnant?

In the meantime, I'm enjoying all the things I likely won't be able to once baby's on board: red wine, good food, late mornings, late nights, movies out with the hubster and solitude. Hubster and I have decided to take a small trip up to Canada in April just to take our minds off TTC, go hiking and spend some quality time together. I can't put into words how much I'm looking forward to this. It'll be such a great change to be out and about and not in the house. Here's where we're staying!

The hubster and I are HUGE nature lovers and we seem to have an obsession with Canada... the vastness, the beauty, the people..

Whew...this is turning into a monster post...bye bye for now!

Monday, February 25, 2013

I'm Here

I've been lurking the internet for a few weeks trying to find inspiration for my new lifestyle--stay at home wife. I mean there are tons and tons of stay-at-home mom blogs but not many from the point of view of a Black woman.  So instead of complaining about it, which is what I usually do, I decided to start my own (pats self on the back).

A little about me: I'm a Gemini whose been married to the hubster for two years and we're about to start the journey to parenthood again after two false starts. It's not easy losing a baby, let alone losing two. I'm still healing and trying to be optimistic about the future. It really would be a shame to not see the hubster's face on a little munchkin. I am a social worker by profession but writing is my passion.

Currently, the hubster and I, along with our very fat cat Josh, live in NYC but we're planning to escape some time soon...I'm chatty but can also be an introvert. I'm hoping this blog will allow space for all the different "mes" to emerge.

Come here for musings on love,  faith, marriage and parenthood and the pursuit of the (simple) good life.