|I'm getting bigger, as in fatter, ya'l!!|
Every Tuesday I think to myself, "this is going way too fast. There's way too much to do." All the other days of the week I think to myself, " Eh, I got plenty of time!"
EH and I saw a heart specialist today to check on Whelpalina's heart. EH was born with a hole in his heart that closed up by itself but we're just doing our due diligence. I spoke to Whelpalina in the shower yesterday and told her she had to be extra nice and not squirm around too much. She was pretty much asleep during today's ultrasound so I was very proud of her :-)
The doc said her heart looked great and totally normal with a good rhythm so we are thankful for that. He advised us to get another scan at 32 weeks because the Metformin might affect the way the heart develops later on. I've decided I'm not going to worry about it because he added that whatever effects it has diminishes after birth. Did you know that babies "breathe" through their hearts before their lungs develop? Apparently, there are two extra glands in the heart, one of them is called P4, that carry blood and let out extra air...if I'm understanding it correctly. They totally close up at birth. Isn't that cool? Totally blew my mind!
I've been seeing a lot of family this week due to a death in the family. My Aunt's husband passed away and the family has been gathering everyday to watch over her, cook, clean and generally keep her company. The circumstances have made me think about death in general. I've had only three deaths in my family so far, my grandparents and a great aunt, but these all happened way before my miscarriages. I think those experiences have skewed my idea of death.
I feel like my emotions regarding this most recent death has been one big shrug. Granted, we weren't exactly close and he has been very sick for a pretty long time. Maybe it hurts less because I expected it? Maybe I'm a little desensitized in that I now KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that bad things can and do happen and people survive? In either case, it's been really good to see family members I haven't seen in years, except on Facebook. I'm taking advantage of this opportunity because I know when Whelpalina comes I'll be preoccupied for a while.
EH and my best friend are planning a baby shower for me that will include just our close friends. My mother, who I haven't really had a meaningful conversation with in a while, wants to throw a shower as well. I told her that I didn't really see the point since I was already having a shower so she has settled for just buying a boatload of clothes for the baby. My place isn't that big and I'm afraid I'll just get a bunch of stuff I can't use and that the baby will grow out of before she even wears them. The thought of having too much stuff drives me insane.
Now I'm feeling a bit guilty about not having a shower for my family members. We didn't include them in the friend shower because they truly are a multitude, on both sides, and I didn't want to saddle my best friend and husband with the cost of feeding and entertaining the whole brood. I'm at a loss as to what to do because I'm afraid feelings will be hurt. I'm totally open to suggestions and alternatives here. I wondered if I might do a little picnic in the park, with no need for gifts, in the summer so that all the family can come.
Meanwhile, I'm still eating like it's going out of style and my new craving is...mayonnaise! I know, totally gross, but the thought of a sandwich with a nice smear of mayonnaise on it makes me giddy.