Thursday, October 17, 2013

Marriage Workout!


 EH and I attended our second session of the marriage workshop at our church last night and the verdict is:

We love it!

We have at least ten couples in the group. A few who are living together and not married yet, one or two that are newly engaged and the rest are couples who have been married a range of years. All in all a good mix. Our group leaders are a married couple that clearly love and respect and are real with each other, which is so important. They keep the conversation going and really know how to engage everybody. I'm so happy that I strong-armed EH into going. I was surprised by how much he enjoys going.

Our marriage was by no means in trouble but I'm a preemptive kind of gal. I don't think it hurts to get a marriage tune-up every once a while, especially since we're dealing with the trauma of infertility. With all the stress, heartache and financial strain, many couples don't make it. By grace, so far, that hasn't been our reality. This challenge to our marriage has only made us stronger and more determined to enjoy each other.

In this second session, we sat apart and filled out an anonymous, short marriage questionnaire so the leaders could get an idea of what the group will need to touch on. We also had to list a challenge(s) we are facing in our marriage. EH and I debated whether or not to bring up our infertility and then decided not to. We may change our minds as the group goes on but we don't feel like we're in  a place right now where we're ready to share.

I'm struggling with this because I feel like it's a teachable moment for the other couples and  a venue for us to get the support and encouragement we need. But the reality is we don't really know anyone that well, and all of the couples, except one young engaged couple, have children. I've learned that sometimes I have to guard my heart against ignorant comments and empty platitudes when it comes to talking about our struggle. I may change my mind. I listed challenges dealing with finances, sex and housework instead. I'm very curious to know what EH wrote!

The group is reading this book:
The first chapter was a little dry but we're crossing our fingers that it gets better. Either way, the chapters have the potential to inspire great conversations.

What have you and your husband done to strengthen your marriage? How did it go? Was it helpful?


  1. I would love to do a marriage workshop or counseling session. I was just talking about it the other day. I don't know of anyone that does them here.
    I'm with you. I think it doesn't hurt to get a tune up before a problem could arise and I also think they are great ways to strengthen your relationship. Please keep us posted on how the book turns out.

  2. You should totally start one if you can't find one where you are. Building and fortifying a marriage is sooo important, especially in our communities. If you're not up for leading it, ask the leadership at your church to host it. EH and I first started by just having conversations about marriage while we were a part of a small group of other couples at our old church. It was helpful but it left us wanting more because we got so much out of knowing we weren't alone in our triumphs and our struggles.

    Might help to get some like-minded ladies from the church to back you up to build up even more interest for it. I'll keep you posted on how the group and the book turns out and you keep me posted on how this is going.

    Every relationship has its quirks and it's important to identify them and work around them. If you prefer a one-on-one environment, check out the social workers in your area. I'm pretty sure they'll have some that specialize in couple's therapy.